Thames Flood Barrier – London’s River Defences

Craig’s review… The Thames Barrier is a bit of a pain to visit because you need to catch a bus from The O2. You can’t really walk it and you can’t catch a tube train either. TRS has some boats that go to the barrier but they don’t actually stop and let you off – all they do is sail around it. And the Thames Clippers keep motoring on to Woolwich, which is too far to walk back. So it really is the bus or nothing.

It’s okay if you fancy a lonely day out, I suppose, but it’s not the kind of place to take your partner or your kids. You need to be on your own, a bit bored, a bit melancholy, with nothing better to do than stand on the riverbank in the rain.

Start off by catching the tube to North Greenwich. When you step outside the station you’ll be standing next to the O2 Arena. Look around for a branch of Costas and have a coffee in there – that’s where I go. If the O2 Arena is open then you might prefer to have a nose around inside instead because there’s a lot of pubs and restaurants underneath the rim. It’s almost like an indoor street in there, like an undercover town – beneath the tent it’s all bright lights and palm trees and it’s quite interesting the first time you see it.

After that I recommend walking towards the water for a quick look downstream. Just follow the signs to the IFS Cloud Cable Car and keep going until you reach the river. Can you see the Thames Barrier in the very far distance? (You’ll need good eyesight to pick it out because it’s a very long way.) You might be able to see an occasional plane taking off from London City Airport as well.

Now head back to the bus station (same place as the tube station) and catch the 472. It’s quite an ugly bus ride so don’t bother getting your camera out. It’s all car parks, car washes, Cash & Carry warehouses, out-of-town B&Qs, and big huge hoardings hiding half-finished building sites. Everything seems to be a work in progress around here, but showing no progress whatsoever.

After ten minutes you need to get off by the Royal Greenwich Technology College. Assuming you picked the right one turn around and Eastmoor Street should be twenty steps behind you. Walk down there and keep going through the depressing park. You’ll probably be wishing you stayed at home at this point but stick with it because the barrier is quite close.

Flood defences across the River Thames

When you lumber up and over the final steps you’ll suddenly see it looking like a chain of metal sheds strung out across the Thames.

I only ever come here on a grey day because the river is very raw and industrial around here, and you need to get the weather right when you’re in a melancholy mood. I’m happy just standing here listening to the clanks and bangs coming out of the smokestack factory on the other side. The Tate & Lyle sugar refinery is unloading a boat at the moment, and there’s a load of muddy-coloured seagulls dive-bombing the water.

Do you fancy walking through that concrete tunnel on the left? It’s not exactly the prettiest of riverside walks but who cares – this is sightseeing of a different sort. Imagine this depressing scene: a concrete embankment and no one about, just me and the wind and the sound of brown water sloshing up against the side. It’s all padlocked piers and rusting metal fences down here. Shredded carrier bags are trapped and flapping in the barbed wire that’s wrapped around the wall. It feels like the edge of the city out here. I’ve been writing this for fifteen minutes now and I’ve hardly seen a soul… just one lone, crazy jogger getting battered around like a damp flag in the wind.

Keep walking until you can pick out the distant cable car. You should be able to see the Gherkin, Sky Garden and Shard as well.

Thames Flood Barrier Museum

Before you head for home you need to return to the barrier and visit their piddly little museum, which you’ll find inside the cafe on top of the hill. I’ve been here three times now and I’ve always had exactly the same experience: it’s always shut, it’s always raining, and the benches are always soaking wet so I can’t sit down. When it finally opens I buy myself a cup of weak tea and try and drip-dry in the corner.

To get into the museum you have to buy a ticket from the canteen kid who is probably nattering on his mobile phone. You’ll probably be the only visitor the museum gets all day (hence his look of startled surprise when you ask for a ticket). I’m reluctant to say that the museum is rubbish because that would be unfair… it’s a museum about the Thames Barrier, so there’s a limit as to how exciting they can make it.

As soon as you step inside you’ve effectively seen it all because it’s a one-room exhibit. There are some information boards which tell you why we needed the barrier, how they built it and how it works, but even if you stand there and read every single word it won’t take you more than fifteen minutes.

Worth a visit? ★☆☆Value for money? ★☆☆Good for kids? ☆☆☆Easy to get to? ★☆☆

I also recommend… If you enjoy this then try Thames River Sightseeing (catch a tube from North Greenwich to Westminster). You can learn a bit more about the barrier at the Museum of London Docklands

The author Craig Cross owns city-guide.london and has spent the last decade reviewing the capital’s landmarks, attractions and hotels. His guidebook London Squire is available from Amazon