Guards’ Museum – History of the Foot Guards

Craig’s review… While I’m standing here waiting for the Guards’ Museum to open a little old lady has walked up with a load of tatty plastic bags and piled them onto a bench, doing all the animated facial expressions and associated arm actions that come with being mad. I haven’t got the faintest idea what she’s babbling on about because it’s all in French, but she seems happy enough. She actually seems happier than me. I’m just going to do what British people do best and pretend she doesn’t exist. I will stare at the buses. I will stare at the clouds. I will live in my imaginary world, and she can live in hers.

Wellington Barracks

The reason I arrived so early was because I wanted to see if there were any soldiers on the parade ground. The Guards’ Museum is inside the grounds of Wellington Barracks and you can sometimes see them being put through their paces behind the iron railings, marching up and down and practising their drills. It’s a bit like watching a mini-Changing the Guard ceremony but I can’t see any soldiers today – just a couple of sentry pigeons strutting up and down.

I quite like this little museum. I call it a homemade museum because it appears to have been put together by people who actually care about the exhibits. There’s always a proud old bloke sitting behind the desk (probably an old soldier) and a couple of dads taking their sons around the rooms – probably Foot Guards on their day off, showing their kids what they do for a living.

Foot Guards’ five regiments

The museum tells the story of the Foot Guards’ five regiments: the Grenadier, Coldstream, Scots, Irish and Welsh Guards, which together have a history stretching all the way back to the English Civil War. General Monck marched the first lot down from Scotland when he helped to put Charles II back on the throne. Then the Grenadiers came in, and somehow managed to supersede the Coldstream Guards in seniority. Then they added the Scots, Irish and Welsh. You’ll learn all of this in the little sit-down movie at the start, which also reveals how you can tell them apart by looking at their plumes and tunic buttons. If you pay attention to it then you’ll be forever checking out the buttons whenever you see a soldier standing outside Buckingham Palace (I’m still doing this years later – I can’t help myself).

The Battle of Waterloo

After that you can walk through 360 years of military history. They give you a little biography of all the kings and queens and generals, and waxwork models have been drafted in to model the historical uniforms. They have quite a nice collection of paintings as well (mainly head and shoulder portraits of the generals), and some intricate little models of their most famous engagements like the Battle of Blenheim and Battle of Waterloo.

When you reach the Crimea you can see some of the soldiers’ actual gear: pots and pans, cups and mugs, cleaning kits and playing cards, surgeon’s saws, scissors, needles and knives. They also show off some of the stuff they captured from the enemy: rusty old wooden rifles and blowpipes for firing darts. Other objects really bring you close to the fighting, like the tattered flags and blood-stained uniforms. There are some especially good pieces from Waterloo, like the gate chain from the Hougoumont farmhouse.

The guns all get bigger and better from World War II onwards, and after that you’re into the Falklands and Kuwait.

Whether you enjoy this museum is going to depend entirely on how much you’re into British military history. I think it will probably appeal to old soldiers and middle-aged blokes the most. There’s not a lot for children.

When you’re finished remember to pop into their amazing toy soldier shop outside – it’s full of delicately painted tin troops for collectors and hobbyists.

Worth a visit? ★★☆Value for money? ★★★Good for kids? ☆☆☆Easy to get to? ★★★

I also recommend… If you enjoy this then try Household Cavalry Museum (walk it in 12 mins or travel from St James’s Park to Westminster by tube); National Army Museum (walk it in 28 mins or travel from St James’s Park to Sloane Square via tube) and Wellington Barracks (you can walk there in less than 1 min). If you want to see the Foot Guards in action the try the Changing of the Guard ceremony at Buckingham Palace. You can see the Household Cavalry standing guard at the horse boxes in Whitehall

The author Craig Cross owns city-guide.london and has spent the last decade reviewing the capital’s landmarks, attractions and hotels. His guidebook London Squire is available from Amazon